Episode 48

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Published on:

26th Nov 2024

'Mankeeping', Men’s Friendships, and Women's Emotion Work - Dr Angelica Ferrara

What do we know about men’s friendships, and why have their social networks declined in the past 30 years? Why do so many find it hard to cultivate emotionally supportive friendships with each other? Why is it that men are more at risk of loneliness and social isolation than women? What are the impacts of this, both for men themselves and the women they are close to? And what can we do about it?

In this episode, Dr Angelica Ferrara discusses these issues and more, drawing upon her recent article (with Dylan Vergara) ‘Theorizing mankeeping: The male friendship recession and women’s associated labour as a structural component of gender inequality’. The authors argue that fewer close relationships between men may cause some to rely heavily on relationships with women, especially romantic relationships, for emotional support. This may increase the emotion work women do to support men, through a phenomenon Angelica and Dylan label as ‘mankeeping’ - which can in turn contribute to gender inequity.

Angelica is a postdoctoral scholar at Stanford University’s Clayman Institute for Gender Research, and a visiting fellow at the London School of Economics. She is trained as a developmental and social psychologist, and her work seeks to understand how gender ideologies shape behaviour and relationships. She’s currently working on a book called ‘Men Without Men’, about boys’ and men’s friendships throughout history and across cultures.

Episode timeline

  • Introduction
  • The male friendship recession (02:32-04:39)
  • Differences among men (04:39-07:36)
  • Why friendships are so important (07:36-10:33)
  • The impact of masculine norms on men’s friendships (10:33-14:03)
  • Changes with ageing and retirement (14:03-19:18)
  • Why men’s social settings sometimes don’t help (19:18-21:18)
  • How mankeeping works (21:18-25:16)
  • Its impacts on women (25:16-27:30)
  • Why boys have just as much capacity for relationships (27:30-32:08)
  • Break
  • How society needs to change (32:12-37:06)
  • Creating spaces for men to connect (37:06-39:56)
  • Men on their own (39:56-41:29)
  • What individual men can do (41:29-46:03)
  • Why we need to support others (46:03-48:29)
  • The significance of touch (48:29-50:38)
  • What led Angelica to this research (50:38-54:25)
  • Conclusion [Personal struggles with conforming to masculine norms and building close friendships with men; The need to reach out; Fears of rejection; Totalitarianism and a sense of abandonment; Far-right exploitation of men's isolation] (54:25-01:03:57)

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About the Podcast

Now and Men
Changing Masculinities, Challenging Norms
What role can men play in achieving gender equality?
Why is feminism good for men?
How are rigid ideas about masculinity holding back our lives—and how are people around the world challenging them?

These are the questions at the heart of Now and Men, a podcast hosted by social researchers Dr Stephen Burrell (Lecturer at the University of Melbourne, Australia) and Sandy Ruxton (Independent Researcher and Honorary Fellow at Durham University, UK).

We explore masculinity and change in the lives of men and boys today, diving into issues such as gender-based violence, fatherhood, men’s health, politics and the environment. Grounded in feminist thinking, our conversations connect big ideas to everyday experiences—showing how gender shapes all of us, and how men can be part of building a more equal world.

At a time when regressive versions of masculinity are resurging—amplified by political leaders, online influencers, even podcasters—we spotlight the people pushing back. Each episode features inspiring voices working to engage men and boys in positive, transformative ways and imagining feminist futures.

New episodes drop every month. Follow us wherever you get your podcasts, and join us in exploring what healthy, caring, equitable paths forward can look like for men. Questions or comments? We’d love to hear from you at nowandmen@gmail.com.

About your hosts

Stephen Burrell

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I am a Lecturer in Criminology at the University of Melbourne. I'm originally from the UK, and moved to Australia at the beginning of 2024. My research is about men, masculinities, and violence. I am particularly interested in the prevention of men's violence - especially violence against women, and violence against the environment - and promoting care as an alternative. I'm a big fan of feminism, drinking tea, connecting with nature, eating vegan snacks, and listening to heavy metal.

Sandy Ruxton

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Honorary Research Fellow in the Department of Sociology at Durham University (UK). Independent researcher, expert on men and masculinities. Previous policy work on human rights, children and families, poverty and social exclusion, and asylum and migration. Programme experience with boys and young men in schools, community, and prisons. Steering Committee member, MenEngage Europe. Volunteer for OX4 Food Crew. Chess-player, bike-rider, tree-hugger. Great grandfather edited Boy's Own Paper, but was sacked.